... revenge porn.
...We were never friends
...you listen to One Direction and you're a 43 year old man.
Your mama dont dance and your daddy dont rock and roll.
... i've decided to eliminate emojis from my life, and you were a part of that former life.
... i've grown accustomed to not putting up with your dandruff. also, you're fired.
... i got into a fight, and found out pretty quickly that what you were teaching me wasn't real karate.
... super cooled laser beam data storage is the future, and you, my friend, are the past.
... my other car really was a ferrari all this time. it wasn't just a bumper sticker, asshole.
... my enemies in dallas are all coming to town, and i don't want you to get hurt. no, wait, on second thought, forget i said anything. would you mind starting my car while i get the mail?
... i've been contemplating the true meaning of all the albums of quiet riot. my analysis leads to this conclusion: you're a poo poo head.
... you never check the battery level of your taser. what if i were attacked? do you even think of other people?
... I switched to team jacob, nuff said.
... your survival bunker is severely lacking in long term storage carbohydrates. what? are you just planning on leaching off of my carbohydrates? i don't think so, boyo.
...... because, when you sat on my face, you broke my nose.
...... because you put Kanye in my CD player.
...you keep hiding my stool softener.
...you ran over my cat.
...you quit waxing down there.
...you leave spots on my sheets.
...when we eat Cheetos and watch Porn together, you always get orange stuff all over my private parts.