2011 FUNNIEST THING THAT HAPPENED TO/FROM/AROUND YOU

My tooth cap came loose last summer. It was covering an upper-middle tooth (cuspid, molar, cumulus, stratus, I don't know just upper-middle), and without it I look like a pirate, so I put temporary dental glue on til the dentist took over.

During this time, known as Before Dad Went To The Dentist To Fix His Toothcap, we were installing Granicrete, a concrete overlay, on a pool deck and patio at a customer's house. My oldest son and I show up one Saturday while the wife and husband customers are landscaping in the back yard, near the pool.

I open my mouth to say "hello", and the toothcap falls out. It lands on the ground. It ricochets six feet. It lands on the top of the water in the pool, sinks, and lands on the bottom of the pool, where it glistens and winks at me.

Without hestitation I say: "My toothcap! it fell in the pool!"

Pointing, I say "There it is!", like a kid at the zoo.

I almost jumped in after it but I couldn't afford to drip water on our work area, so I hesitate, almost jump in, take out my wallet, keys...point....hesitate...and now the landscaping couple are looking at me like I have a towel on my head at the airport.

The customer-landscaping-wife gets the poolnet to scoop out my fallen appendage.

For the next ten minutes the wife pushes my toothcap with the pool-net while I give her directions:

"...you got it, wait, left,no, yep,push it...okay, good, keep going..."

I know, I know, sounds like prom night. Meanwhile, the husband-landscaper is trying to pull weeds while staring at us like we each have a towel on our heads at another airport, and my son is mixing concrete mix with his back turned to everyone so they don't see him laughing but I know he's laughing cause his shoulders are bouncing up and down like he's operating a jackhammer and he's shaking his head no. And I can hear him laughing.

She pushes my toothcap to 3-feet of water and I can't reach it so I end up having to go underwater anyway to get it.

If you could've seen the look at their faces. I remember them like it was....August. Good times, yesindeedio. And my son is still laughing.

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Permalink Reply by JJJ23 on April 6, 2012 at 10:06pm

This is a story from a couple years ago, I think 2010, but it's pretty funny so I thought I'd put it here. I went to see a friend of mine who was living with his step dad at the time and it was the first time I had been to the trailer park they were living in. But we were hanging out and I decided to go get something to eat, and when I got back I walked in with my food and took a couple steps toward the room to the right of the door cause my friend had been in there sleeping before I left and I wanted to see if he was up. He wasn't there, and the bed looked different, then I heard someone say "Can I help you?". I looked back in the living room and there was some dude laid out on his couch watching TV. I had walked into a strangers house, so I said "sorry I've got the wrong house" and left quickly feeling really stupid and lucky that it hadn't turned out worse than that. In my defense it's one of those trailer parks where all the trailers look about the same and like I said I hadn't been there before. But anyway I got back to the right trailer and I told my friend's step dad about it and he says "yeah, something like that happened to me one time. I was about 18-19 and I was living in a trailer park then too, and I was in my living room jacking off and this old black lady I'd never seen before just walked in my front door." I always thought that was funny as hell though because I wondered who it was weirder for him or the lady that walked in on him.

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Permalink Reply by Michaelred73 on April 8, 2012 at 8:36am

I was in my bass boat on a lake doing some crappie fishing. The lake was completely empty and It was really hot so I decided to go full redneck and take my shirt and shoes off and was wearing only a pair of OLD umbro shorts. So here I am in the middle of this lake, minding my own business when I hear a boat approaching. I turn to look and see a Game Warden coming towards me to check my licence. As he approaches my boat I notice his face makes a weird gesture and he can't seem to look at me directly. He checks my credentials, says I'm OK and hauls ass. I got to wondering why he was so weird acting, and that's when I looked down and noticed that I had a huge hole in the crotch of my shorts and my balls were completely hanging out.. We're talking 100 degree weather and it was full droop!.

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Permalink Reply by JJJ23 on May 21, 2012 at 11:14pm

RIP Jonny Blalock, this was one of the many funny stories he told me, he was my best friend's step dad and a friend of mine and I recently got word he died in a motorcycle crash a few months ago, Goodbye Jonny, one of the most effortlessly funny people I've ever met

JJJ23 said:

This is a story from a couple years ago, I think 2010, but it's pretty funny so I thought I'd put it here. I went to see a friend of mine who was living with his step dad at the time and it was the first time I had been to the trailer park they were living in. But we were hanging out and I decided to go get something to eat, and when I got back I walked in with my food and took a couple steps toward the room to the right of the door cause my friend had been in there sleeping before I left and I wanted to see if he was up. He wasn't there, and the bed looked different, then I heard someone say "Can I help you?". I looked back in the living room and there was some dude laid out on his couch watching TV. I had walked into a strangers house, so I said "sorry I've got the wrong house" and left quickly feeling really stupid and lucky that it hadn't turned out worse than that. In my defense it's one of those trailer parks where all the trailers look about the same and like I said I hadn't been there before. But anyway I got back to the right trailer and I told my friend's step dad about it and he says "yeah, something like that happened to me one time. I was about 18-19 and I was living in a trailer park then too, and I was in my living room jacking off and this old black lady I'd never seen before just walked in my front door." I always thought that was funny as hell though because I wondered who it was weirder for him or the lady that walked in on him.