2011 FUNNIEST THING THAT HAPPENED TO/FROM/AROUND YOU
My tooth cap came loose last summer. It was covering an upper-middle tooth (cuspid, molar, cumulus, stratus, I don't know just upper-middle), and without it I look like a pirate, so I put temporary dental glue on til the dentist took over.
During this time, known as Before Dad Went To The Dentist To Fix His Toothcap, we were installing Granicrete, a concrete overlay, on a pool deck and patio at a customer's house. My oldest son and I show up one Saturday while the wife and husband customers are landscaping in the back yard, near the pool.
I open my mouth to say "hello", and the toothcap falls out. It lands on the ground. It ricochets six feet. It lands on the top of the water in the pool, sinks, and lands on the bottom of the pool, where it glistens and winks at me.
Without hestitation I say: "My toothcap! it fell in the pool!"
Pointing, I say "There it is!", like a kid at the zoo.
I almost jumped in after it but I couldn't afford to drip water on our work area, so I hesitate, almost jump in, take out my wallet, keys...point....hesitate...and now the landscaping couple are looking at me like I have a towel on my head at the airport.
The customer-landscaping-wife gets the poolnet to scoop out my fallen appendage.
For the next ten minutes the wife pushes my toothcap with the pool-net while I give her directions:
"...you got it, wait, left,no, yep,push it...okay, good, keep going..."
I know, I know, sounds like prom night. Meanwhile, the husband-landscaper is trying to pull weeds while staring at us like we each have a towel on our heads at another airport, and my son is mixing concrete mix with his back turned to everyone so they don't see him laughing but I know he's laughing cause his shoulders are bouncing up and down like he's operating a jackhammer and he's shaking his head no. And I can hear him laughing.
She pushes my toothcap to 3-feet of water and I can't reach it so I end up having to go underwater anyway to get it.
If you could've seen the look at their faces. I remember them like it was....August. Good times, yesindeedio. And my son is still laughing.
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Iverneil on -
I was sitting with two friends, one of them a great guy but very gullible and slightly dim witted. I always fuck with him by seeing just how gullible he really is. He was telling us he had gone out to dinner the night before and at one point he asked me "Have you ever tried Mahi Mahi?" so I say "You didn't order the Mahi Mahi did you?" he says "Yes it was great...why?" so I tell him "When you see Mahi Mahi on the menu, always ask the waiter for Mahi Mahi Mahi" he looks puzzled, I've got him, he then ask's "WHy?" so I tell him "The Mahi Mahi portion of a dolphinfish is the shit cut, if you want a truly awesome dinner ask for the Mahi Mahi Mahi, they usually keep some reserved for connoisseur's in the kitchen" he sits there with that "Really!! look on his face.
My other friend see's what I am up to and maintains his composure. He decides to add in, "You know, the best Mahi Mahi Mahi around is at Christies Restaurant", "they serve it with grilled with a mango sauce" back to me "No way, you have to eat it at Benjamins, there they pan sear it with butter, wilted spinach capers and a little lemon". By now, my gullible friend still hasn't caught on and my other buddy is obviously thinking of how to keep this going, he says " If youy really want the ultimate Mahi Mahi Mahi you should try to find out if it was fresh, not frozen and that it was from the sargasso sea" at that point I couldn't contain myself any longer and I just busted out laughing, my gullible friend looks at me and I gathered myself an said "Ohhh boy, do I have a really funny story about Mahi Mahi Mahi" un believably, I still had him going. I proceeded to tell him some stupid/funny story and he believed me.
My only regret is that I probably won't be there the first time he order's it.
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Permalink Reply by FroDoh! on -
That LOL story was definitely not so-so-so!
Iverneil said:I was sitting with two friends, one of them a great guy but very gullible and slightly dim witted. I always fuck with him by seeing just how gullible he really is. He was telling us he had gone out to dinner the night before and at one point he asked me "Have you ever tried Mahi Mahi?" so I say "You didn't order the Mahi Mahi did you?" he says "Yes it was great...why?" so I tell him "When you see Mahi Mahi on the menu, always ask the waiter for Mahi Mahi Mahi" he looks puzzled, I've got him, he then ask's "WHy?" so I tell him "The Mahi Mahi portion of a dolphinfish is the shit cut, if you want a truly awesome dinner ask for the Mahi Mahi Mahi, they usually keep some reserved for connoisseur's in the kitchen" he sits there with that "Really!! look on his face.
My other friend see's what I am up to and maintains his composure. He decides to add in, "You know, the best Mahi Mahi Mahi around is at Christies Restaurant", "they serve it with grilled with a mango sauce" back to me "No way, you have to eat it at Benjamins, there they pan sear it with butter, wilted spinach capers and a little lemon". By now, my gullible friend still hasn't caught on and my other buddy is obviously thinking of how to keep this going, he says " If youy really want the ultimate Mahi Mahi Mahi you should try to find out if it was fresh, not frozen and that it was from the sargasso sea" at that point I couldn't contain myself any longer and I just busted out laughing, my gullible friend looks at me and I gathered myself an said "Ohhh boy, do I have a really funny story about Mahi Mahi Mahi" un believably, I still had him going. I proceeded to tell him some stupid/funny story and he believed me.
My only regret is that I probably won't be there the first time he order's it.
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Permalink Reply by Rebellious By Nature on -
this one time...at band camp....i was beating this guy to death with his own tuba....when i realized.....HEY! This story has no ending!!!! ....back to you...
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Permalink Reply by Rebellious By Nature on
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that helps :)
Iverneil said:The end
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Permalink Reply by Tom O'Brien on -
This concludes our 2011 recap of funniest things that happened. We hope you enjoyed, now get on with ought-twelve already.
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Permalink Reply by Rotwang on -
Until this scene ended, I was laughing so hard that I was embarrassed in the theatre. Rest of the movie overall wasn't pixar's best though.
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Permalink Reply by toofpick on -
I just came across this sooooo I'm putting mine in. I had a one night stand with this girl. No details or anything. I had completely blacked out the night. I woke up alone in a messy room to find out that I had shit a little in the bed. Not much. Maybe 4 streaks directly under me. I could here her talking to someone in the living room so I locked the bedroom door. I immediately put on my clothes and hatched a plan. I covered the sheets up with blankets and some of her dirty clothes. It took a while to get up the nerve to leave the room. I'm positive she knows what happened. I took a deep breath (I didn't smell the shit anymore) and did the walk of shame into the living room locking her bedroom door behind me. She was doing coke with a very attractive girl. I just rushed to the front door as fast as I could without sprinting. She got up and came towards me I reached the door. I'm thinking she's going to slap me, but she hugged and kissed me. She gave me her phone number and I left. Every once in a while I will spot her at different bars. I avoid eye contact and leave right away. My friends loved the story. I'm kind of shameless so it doesn't really bother me. I just hope she's too embarrassed to tell other girls because I've told nearly everyone I know. I guess I'll end it there.
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Permalink Reply by Iverneil on
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You should have strangled everybody before you left, sheesh!...no potty...no crime
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Permalink Reply by toofpick on
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What I failed to mention was that she looked like Danny DeVito as The Penguin except much fatter.
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Permalink Reply by jessicaligula on
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I suck at story telling but I'll try my best.
[back story] A friend and I were at our local bar and she got into an argument with a drunk guy that was being handsy and inappropriate with us. The bartender ended up kicking him out and my friend and I were the only two people left in the bar.
She goes to the restroom and a black cop I know named Floyd walks in. I say hello and accidentally shoot him the Black Power fist. I don't know why or how it happened. I was so embarassed. He said hello back and didn't acknowledge what I had just done.
Seconds later, my friend comes out of the restroom and yells, "I'm sorry I had a fight at your black panther party." (she likes to quote Forrest Gump)
I wanted to die. He didn't respond to that either. I can only imagine what he now thinks of me.
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