Comedy Whirled

Some nonsense that's supposed sound like age old wisdom. (and remember this is only mildly racist, so don't @ me bro)

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Confuse Us Say: If a tree falls in the woods and there's no one around to hear it, then isn't it the Democrats that should be getting investigated?

Confuse Us Say: A bird in hand is worth two in the bush, but if that bird is a rooster then you're just standing around with your cock in your hand.

Confuse Us Say: Rock breaks scissors, scissors cut paper, and paper covers rock, but is not a broken scissors two knives?

Confuse Us Say:  If you leave the string too slack, it will not play.  If you pull it too tightly, it will snap.  If your guitar is that badly out of tune, maybe try the bongos.

Confuse Us Say: It is better to burn out than Faye Dunaway.

Confuse Us Say: Only when we realize all is vanity, it isn't.  And if you need a tattoo to remind you of this, be sure to get it on the inside.

Confuse Us Say: He who slings mud loses ground.  Which doesn't raise the question: How much ground could a groundhog grind if a groundhog could grind ground?

Confuse Us Say: The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.  Although for an amputee it's a bit more complicated. 

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